adam bondurant

Holy hell, this is amazing:

Hello Allan,

I am vara, recruiter form Tekforcecorp.
I saw your resume on Internet and we have a immediate requirement for PHP developer.
please see the requirement and let me know if you are interested. Please get back to me with updated rseume and salary info.This is a fulltime position.

Responsibilities:

• Develop web applications and services
• Apply industry best-practice software standards and technology to complex business problems
• Help set-up and maintain development, test and production environments

Qualifications:

• Bachelors degree in CS or related field, or equivalent experience
• 2+ years experience in design and development of commercial web applications on multiple platforms
• Previous professional experience with PHP required (PHP5 preferred)
• Current experience with MySQL required
• Basic understanding of OOP principles and practices is required
• Experience with Java, Ruby on Rails, and/or object oriented C++ a plus
• Experience with AJAX a plus
• Ability to work on a small team, in a start-up environment
• Ability to handle multiple concurrent activities and have a flexible, positive attitude
• Excellent verbal, written and communication skills is a must
• Must be team-oriented, with an interest and willingness to help develop and mentor the engineering team as it grows

Vara
Tekforce Corp
2420 Camino Ramon , Suite 212
San Ramon, CA 94583
925 866 8200 ext. 234
925 866 8219 Fax
vara@tekforcecorp.com

I just got a call from someone (Josh? Jason?) at a recruiter. It took him a few seconds to tell me he was, in fact, a recruiter, but once he did, I realized I didn't want to talk, told him, "No thanks. Bye." and hung up the phone. I could hear him keep talking on the other end as I pulled away my phone, but hung up none-the-less. Not two seconds after I put down my phone did he call back, and as such, went to my voicemail box. I couldn't wait to hear what the message might entail. It went something like this:

Hey, Adam. It's [what's-his-name] again. I'm going to send you a check in the mail for $1.55 for etiquette lessons, because it's obvious your mother never taught you that it's rude to hang up on someone.

Wah wah. Have fun at you crappy recruiting job, Jessie. Or maybe it was Jeff?

I'm starting a new gym. It's actually going to be a chain of gyms, but I'm getting ahead of myself. My new gym is fabulous. It's exclusionary. It's better than any gym you've ever been to.

My gym does not accept membership during the months of November, December, January, nor February.

Moreso, my gym's card scanning system looks at your account during those four months and if it's been more than 8 months, you're politely but firmly told to come back in March. I understand how frustrated members may become, but as I said before, my gym is fabulous, it is exclusionary, and it does not accommodate resolutionists.